Saturday, May 10, 2014

in great {need}

"I am crazy screwed up.
And my only hope is my Jesus." -anything by Jennie Allen

That was the phrase that Jennie Allen decided should have been written on her forehead.  I think that would have fit perfectly on mine as well.  I am so messed up, so in need- in desperate need.

Sometimes when I read the Word I get this feeling, this conviction that I have been doing it all wrong.  The very sin that Jesus has saved me from has been covered up by my own pride, my own "righteousness"- as if the blood of Jesus simply wasn't doing a good enough job at covering my sin.  It doesn't matter what "good" I do, I will never be able to pay for all that I have done against my Father.  The issue is that even though I know I have been ransomed for, I have been graced, I have been pardoned, I still try to cover up all that Christ has done with things that I have done.  

When Jesus drew close to the society-proclaimed sinners and rebuked the Pharisees, it seems that my life would match up more with the hypocritical, self-glorified Pharisees.  My life should be rebuked by the Messiah.  Yet Jesus is still doing work in my heart, He is greater than my sin, my pride, my selfishness, my poor attempts to cover up, my shallowness, my dishonesty, my lust, my greed, my judgmental heart, my inabilities to measure up.  HE IS GREATER.

I am in need and He satisfies that need.

Today I am thanking God for His deep forgiveness, and for His love that drew me (and continues to draw me) near in the midst of my unworthiness.

Seeing their faith, Jesus told the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." Mark 2:5

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